易美教育前斯坦福招生官因卓尼女士讲座回顾：深刻剖析创作藤校文书的黄金法则

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面对疫情后名校学历越发稀缺的时代，名校申请的内卷还将继续。近两年受疫情的冲击，名校的录取方式与偏好正在悄然改变，多样化与个性化占据的比重显著增加，这也导致大批硬性条件高、却缺乏差异化的中国留学生被瞬间淘汰，再想通过“拼标化”“凑实习”进名校，恐难以实现。究其原因，认知的差异、东西方文化的差异、教育系统的差异、表达方式的差异，横亘在我们中国留学生与美国名校之间，造成彼此极深的误解。

易美教育招生官顾问委员会成员、斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士受邀参加易美教育易讲坛，为准备申请美国留学的学生们揭秘创作藤校文书的黄金法则。在易美教育主办的易美教育招生官线上讲座，易美教育的斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士指出：在两名条件相差无几的候选人中，优秀的文书往往成为其中一人取胜的关键。为了帮助学生能够更好的准备文书，因卓尼女士深刻剖析了藤校招生官对于文书的亲身体会，并在讲座最后列举了让她记忆犹新的优秀文书案例。

嘉宾介绍

斯坦福大学前招生办副主任因卓尼女士

• 曾任斯坦福大学前招生办副主任；

• 曾在斯坦福大学工程学院任职11年的学生服务管理者；

• 为 800 多名工程专业的学生在招生、经济援助、学习进度等方面提供建议；

• 拥有9年职业生涯规划咨询师经验及7年教育咨询师经验

在谈到文书之前，斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士先带我们回顾了一下申请的几大组成部分，包括成绩单，标化成绩，简历，推荐信等等，她将这些归类成了一个很有趣的部分，那就是已经取得的成绩或者成就，不管是以什么样的方式呈现，这些都已经在你的学术或者职业生涯上留下了一笔一划的印记，我们无法再改变。那什么是我们可以改变的呢？斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士给出的答案就是对于过去经历的感悟以及未来目标的规划，这也是为什么文书在每一个学生的申请里面占据了独一无二的地位，因为这是申请者唯一可以向学校表白的机会。

易美教育的斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士说道: “Your personal statement is unique to you and your own unique story and will set you apart from the hundreds or even thousands of others vying for a seat in the graduate program. Your goal is to have the admissions committee walk away after reading your essay thinking: I can envision taking them in my class, walking the halls, and being a good mentor, friend, and leader. They are smart and talented and fit perfectly at our school. Remember, your story will be compared to all the other stories of the applicant pool. Your job is to prove you are a better fit than many of the others. And this is where the essay comes in.”

在易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士的眼中，每一次对于学生申请材料的审核都是一次风险评估。“I like to think about the application review process as a sort of risk assessment. The admissions committee looks at each person and asks if we admit this person, are we risking that they won't succeed? Or will it be a problem? If you want them to feel confident that you are a good fit, you will succeed and you will be a good leader and mentor and make a positive impact on the program, class discussions, and community.”

易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士作为藤校招生官，她也承担着保证每一个录取的学生都能顺利毕业的压力，所以哪怕是一点小小的瑕疵很有可能成为拒信的导火索，因为没有招生官愿意接受那些他们认为有风险的学生。因此当我们申请当中的任何一部分出现问题的时候，比如GAP(休学)，Probation(学术警告), Fail(挂科)等等，我们可以通过文书的部分力挽狂澜，证明我们已经克服了曾经的困难。

易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士是这么建议的： “You can use your personal statement to mitigate problems in your history. As long as you prove that you have solved those problems, you can talk about personal growth, overcoming an obstacle, conquering a challenge, and convince them that whatever those challenges were, they are now resolved and will not be a problem in the future.”

在我们申请的过程中，最常遇到的文书题目就是personal statement（个人陈述）和statement of purpose（学术声明）。易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士根据多年的经验，这两者在大多数情况下是可以划上等号的，但是也有少数例外的，一个很典型的例子就是伯克利的文书。

因卓尼女士进一步解释道： “In many cases, the personal statement is the same as a statement of purpose. But for example, Berkeley asks for one of each with a different prompt. Generally speaking, a personal statement is more descriptive and an opportunity to talk about your soft skills, as well as your work and academic experiences. Whereas the statement of purpose may ask more about your work, academics, and career goals. If you are convinced your situation and experiences can authentically include a diversity component. You may consider, including those in your personal statement, but be sure that the admissions committee buys it. There is nothing worse than reading an essay about diversity while scratching your head thinking. If you have a diversity aspect, your personal statement can also act as a diversity statement in those cases. Remember, now diversity has more meanings than just ethnicity. It can include overcoming educational challenges, economic hardships, being the first person in your family to go to college, or even having a unique perspective or experience that will help you contribute to interesting discussions.”

相比于学术声明， 在我们的个人陈述中，我们可以更多的展现自身背景的多样性，这不仅仅局限于种族或是信仰，我们遇到的学术挑战，经济困难，作为家里第一个大学生等等都是可以成为我们的题材，但是请注意一点，我们要确保要写的背景足够特别，不然招生官在审核的时候对我们是一个减分项。

在我们的印象当中，不同学校或项目都有自己特殊的文书要求，很少有学生可以用一篇文章来申请不同的项目，我们需要根据不同的要求修改文章。易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士和我们透露了鲜为人知的文书诀窍：一般情况下，一篇已经完成的文书的80%是可以重复使用的，因为大部分的学校文书提示都非常类似，如果同时申请十几个不同的学校，我们只需要在结尾部分针对不同项目进行修改即可。“As you can see, if you apply to 15 schools, you may be looking at 15 completely different props. Please read them carefully and tried to craft one essay that you can use for each school with a different tailored ending paragraph for each. As I said, 80% of your essay can usually be reused, but the final paragraph should be very specific to each unique aspect of the schools you are applying for.”

好的文书结构并没有我们想象中的那么复杂，他们的共通点就是两个字：逻辑。最简单的方法就是根据时间轴展开我们的经历，从学术到职业经历都会显得非常顺理成章。当我们的经历非常丰富的时候，易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士向我们介绍了一种更加灵活的方法，我们可以将自己的各种故事情节草草地写在小卡片上，然后摆放在桌上，从中找到最好的文书叙述的思路和逻辑。

根据多年审核文书的经验，易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士概括出了文书通用的基本大纲： “Part one, describe an experience in a college class where you learn something new and interesting. Part two, that experience drove you to find an internship at a company that related to this new and exciting thing and describes what you learned there. Part three, you realize during your internship that you found your chosen field for your future career. Part four, while you were working at the internship, you discovered a problem you wanted to solve, but don't have the knowledge to do so. You need a graduate degree to get there. Part five, in graduate school, you hope to accomplish several things to prepare you for your future career. Part six, you want to attend this school because of these reasons. And after graduation, you plan on doing several things.”一篇好文章的结构有开头，中间和结尾开头从我们自身有趣的经历切入，中间展现我们的思考，结尾专门为申请的不同学校量身定做感兴趣的方面。

我们努力在文书中展现自身的学术和工作成就的时候，很多人经常在文书中忽略的一点是我们如何塑造自身的形象。在我们按照上面的文书大纲叙述的时候，一定要尽可能多的提供细节。

易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士举了个体现团队合作以及沟通能力的例子： “For example, you should choose an experience at work that can exemplify your communication skills, ability to work with a team, shows you are a helpful person and that you are a critical problem solver. If you write the essay, these things will shine through and impress the admissions committee. One of the most disappointing things in my work has been reading an entire essay and wondering what the message was. Generally speaking, that happens when the person stays very abstract and doesn't dig deep enough. Don't filter yourself too much. It is fine to talk about frustration when trying to solve a problem. Elation is when you solve it, sadness is when you suffer from disappointment, and joy is when you overcome an obstacle. It makes you human and real and will help the admissions committee picture you as a member of their community.”

对于易美教育斯坦福大学前招生官因卓尼女士来说，看完文书最失望的事情莫过于脑海中只有一个很模糊很抽象的印象，这往往是因为申请者没有能够深入挖掘自身的经历，或者过滤了太多自身的细节，甚至是不足的地方。你可以表达你的沮丧在你陷入困境的时候，也可以展现你的兴奋当你解决难题的时候，也许你并不是最完美的，但是你的形象一定是鲜活立体的。如果有一个和你各方面背景类似的学生在和你竞争，招生官通过这样的文书更愿意把你想象成他们未来项目的成员之一。